Relativity (or The Curse of Being Goal-Oriented)

Be ye forewarned, this is a long, late-night post. Coherency of thought not guaranteed.

I was thinking about relativity today. And don't worry, no physics discussion this time. More of how we perceive the passage of time. I was driving back from the beach yesterday with a car full of sleeping passengers, meaning I spent a lot of time looking out the window. And it reminded me of when I was a kid on road trips. I remember long drives to Colorado, particularly during the boring Wyoming stretch, looking at the Rocky Mountains in the distance stirred the boredom - it looked like we were barely moving. But looking at the tall strands of whatever was growing in those fields right next to the road made it look like we were really moving. Same thing yesterday. Looking into the distance at the mountains, we were crawling along. Looking at the trees lining the highway, we were cruising along at 75 mph. This is obviously not a new observation.

At the same time I was pondering where I was going in life. My plans, my dreams, and what was keeping me from getting there. Because I'm incredibly deep and thoughtful (or more likely some neuron misfired), these lines of thought intersected resulting in this analogy. I noticed a similarity between the way the scenery moves by and the way my life is passing. It's all in where you're looking. At the end of the day, I'm usually left feeling like when I'm looking at that first row of trees by the road: we're really moving. Weeks and months can feel like that sometimes too.

But I tend to be a big picture person, so I spend a lot of my time looking back at those mountain ranges. And sometimes I get frustrated because it doesn't seem like things are moving anywhere. I look down at my speedometer and am clearly going fast, but when I look at what things I'd like to have done/passed, I get a different story. I know the solution is to not spend so much time gazing out the windows and judging life that way. Instead I should be focusing on the stretch of road right in front of me and let the speedometer be the only true indication of the rate at which things are moving. (you know, a little Proverbs 4:25) I know I need to develop more patience and diligence in my life. Contentment with what I'm doing now and not obsession over where I would like to be.

Sooner or later you hit one of those mountains off in the distance. You're there, and you start your climb up. If you've ever climbed a mountain (or even a big hill), you've had this happen: it always looks more direct than it ends up being. It looks so simple - just straight up. But in reality there's dozens of ups and downs, twists and turns. What looked like a single mountain ended up being a bunch of foothills and a big mountain. But you finally get to the top of the pass and see that little green "summit" sign on the side of the road right before you start the downhill. That mountain is over. From this vantage point, you can clearly see the next mountain. It's as deceitful as the last one, riddled with switchbacks and illusions of an easy climb. But every once in a while you are greeted with an even worse sight. Sometimes you do see the road leading up the next mountain, or at least part of it. You see all the foothills you have to pass, you see the treacherous turns with no guard rails, and you see that as you move deeper into the mountain range, each subsequent mountain is quite a bit larger than the last.

This describes where I am now. That last mountain of getting a degree was a pain. It should have been a lot more straightforward than it was. It should have been done a year ago. But now it is. And from the top of this mountain, I clearly see the next, probably named something like Staff Mountain. I think a lot of people break down or are eaten by bears on their way up its slopes. At this point I only see the foothill named New Staff Training, but I'm sure there are plenty more. And the road named Support Raising looks to be the meanest stretch of road I've ever seen. I long to reach the top of that mountain, but I find myself wondering if I can make it. Actually, I know I can't. And honestly, that scares me a little. I know people travel this road all the time. I know when I reach that next mountain I'll look back on this one and laugh. But that's big picture me talking again. The same me who about this time decides to stop looking at the difficult road ahead and instead look off to the side again. Now it doesn't look like I'm going anywhere.....

I need to be looking somewhere else.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3